You know... As much as I love my fashion/beauty magazines... They give some pretty bad advice.

I was reading the new issue of Allure today, and in the section about brights, they tell you to, get this, "Dust powder over your eyelids before applying shadow." Uh... yeah. And that's gonna help you HOW? By making your expensive high-end shadow (like a $48 Dior palette!) so sheer it just looks like drugstore shit?

I mean... that's the LAST thing I'd tell anyone to do. The reasoning they had for that was that a creamy base would cause your shadow to be blotchy... Yeah, blotchy if you're a dumbass and can't apply it or blend... Yeeeesh. Who writes for these magazines?!

Or like when they say to apply moisturizer before your self tanner... So that your expensive bottle of self tanner is practically useless? So none of it absorbs into your skin and you have to reapply 20 times to get any color? So you're streaky like some kind of skanky zebra? Yeah, if you know how to apply self tanner, you won't have a problem. But apparently the writers of Allure don't know how to do anything...


Well, I guess if you've seen pictures of the people who write for these magazines I guess you'll understand. They all look like lazy, greasy moms who don't shower or wear makeup... Yep. That definitely makes you the authority on beauty, eh? Isn't that right, Stinky?