See, I complain about the picture of Kelly Rowland and now look what they do... They make it BIGGER!

Damn dead transsexual hooker banner is ruining my blogging experience! (No offense to living transsexual hookers. We cool.)


Since there's nothing particularly attention-grabbing in the cosmetics world at the moment, I'll keep yapping about perfume.

I feel like filling out a big, long survey but I can't come up with the questions myself. I'll have to yoink one from someone. I'm in a list-making form-filling survey-taking kind of mood.

I think I'm getting over my amber phase. I'm not going to stop liking amber or anything, but my experience with Ambre Sultan the other day kinda put me off of it for a while.

Normally I love Ambre Sultan. Wearing it in 90 degree weather was probably not such a good idea. Wearing it in 90 degree weather makes it give off the distinct odor of caged animals. Elephants, maybe. Or horses. Sexy.

Still, I'm not going to follow the "It's summer, you must wear light fruity floral scents or magically disappearing citrus scents!" trend. I'll admit, I've been wearing my Un Jardin Sur le Nil more than usual, and I considered wearing Light Blue today, but where's the fun in that?

Okay, how about a list. Since I'm not very creative, how about a top ten list. Current favorite fragrances.

1. Organza Indecence
2. 10 Corso Como
3. Loukhoum
   
4. Chergui
   
5. Black Cashmere
6. Neiges
7. MV3
8. Patchouli 24
   
9. Chrysanthemum Moon
10. Vanille Extreme

I'd think that a lot of people would consider those totally inappropriate for summer... You know what I say?

Well, of course you know what I say.

I think that list is, while somewhat boring, quite indicitave of the types of perfumes I tend to gravitate toward and love.

I try to appreciate the florals, I really do... I just can't. While I can respect the florals, I really can not love them. Or even like them. I can handle violets. That's about it.

Now Patchouli 24, there's a masterpiece. I had written it off as "ew patchouli" without even trying it. That was a mistake. Maybe you can't judge a perfume by its cover?

It's the most perfect burning leaves and leather scent. It's a bit strong (just a bit?!) and I'm having a hard time figuring out where the patchouli is. It's smoky and rich and sweet and bitter all at the same time. It's right up there with CB Burning Leaves. Beautiful.

I'm trying to decide what the point of this entry is. Is there a moral to this story? The moral is: I'm bored and no one else will listen to me babble about perfume.

While I am trying to learn to love the classic Guerlain Vol de Nuit, I can't help but think it would be really cool if they released a fragrance called Vol de Mort.

It could come in a bottle like an Anna Sui, except it wouldn't have a nose.

Can you tell I've been drinking?

As much as I like reading Allure for the pretty pictures, I'll have to disagree with their self-proclaimed title of "The Beauty Expert."

Some of the "advice" I read in there is just laughably absurd. For example, in this month's issue, it says not to wash off your mascara or eyeliner to give a sexy, dirty look.

Um, ew. WTF?

Yes, that filthy tramp look is so sexy right now. So are eye infections and mascara-stained pillowcases.

I also think it's an absolute shame that they put a blonde wig on Liv Tyler. They couldn't handle a completely real, stunningly beautiful, pale, haunting brunette. They had to cover her in bronzer and put her in a blonde wig and a bikini. Go conformity! Totally disgusting. Is that the message they're trying to send to readers?

Another thing that bothers me is Linda Wells. In every letter from the editor she writes, she always seems to belittle and insult some group of the population in an underhanded way. Drives me up the wall. So snobby.

I don't hate Allure. On the contrary, I actually prefer it over 99% of the magazines out there. I've won a few of their contests. I like the pictures. Most of the articles are fluff, or meant for the beauty-retarded but every now and then there will be a good one. There was an article with Karl Bradl about choosing fragrance as gifts not too long ago.

What I do really appreciate about Allure is the (almost) absent sex advice. It seems like every other magazine out there has the message of, "If you're not banging random bar guys every night, then you aren't a beautiful modern woman. Buy this makeup and these clothes and every guy will want to do you and then you'll be part of humanity. If you're in a monogamous relationship then you're an ugly, prudish freak of nature and a closed-minded bigot."

I don't want to get into the politics of it all, but I applaud Allure for not advertising the "Women are worthless without a man" message that all other magazines seem to push on everyone. I just wish they were more broad in their definition of beauty (tan, blue-eyed blonde waifs).

Aaaaaaanyway....

That picture of Kelly Rowland (whoever the hell that is...) on the Xanga homepage is terrifying. I can't tell if she's a mannequin, a corpse or a dead drag queen. That makeup is atrocious and the photoshopping is so blatantly obvious, it's making me laugh. Maybe she swallowed a uranium rod (insert Beavis laugh here) and the eerie glow is a side effect of the radiation.