I miss Batu Pahat. I want to dedicate this post to this Malaysian mid-sized town in the state of Johor in the southern part of Malaysia, where I stayed 3 months and to all the people who made my stay there an unforgettable experience.
Batu Pahat - first encounter
Batu Pahat is not a beautiful town at first glance. But it grows on you. I remember when I first came to this part of Malaysia (in 2007), I was a bit shocked. I came from Penang, the so called Pearl of the Orient, one of the most beautiful Malaysian cities. I drove 9h from to Batu Pahat on a bus and reached there in the early morning. I was all groggy and sleepy. It was one of the toughest rides in my life. In the early morning Batu Pahat looked like a ghost town to me. Wide streets with run down facades, it seemed dirty and neglected. It was so different from any other Malaysian town I saw before. I only stayed 2 days there, so it couldn't really grow on me. At that time I was in love with Penang (but that's another story I may post one day).
Batu Pahat - second encounter
And then came 2008 and my second visit to my girlfriend's hometown: Batu Pahat. I spent 3 months there, although I didn't know at first how long I'll be staying.
So at first, I had same feelings about Batu Pahat. I felt lost, had no orientation. Batu Pahat has no real centre of town, but many small ones spread all over the place. It seems as a small town, but it actually has around 150.000 inhabitants in the town area (if you include the suburbs 450.000). When I found out about that, I thought that's a lot of people for such a seemingly small town. It has even more inhabitants than our Slovenian capital Ljubljana. But I never heard about Batu Pahat before, it is not very well-known. Not even in Asia. But currently it's one of the fastest growing Malaysian towns. That's certainly true, because I could see a lot of progress since my 1st visit in 2007. They put new asphalt on the all main roads, but most of them have no sidewalk. Batu Pahat sometimes looks like an American town in the Midwest with wide (and not pedestrian-friendly) roads, that are only made for cars. And that's another thing typical for Batu Pahat. People only walk in shopping-malls. Everywhere else they're driving - either in cars (mostly Chinese) or on motorbikes (mostly Malays).
And now we come to the best thing that Batu Pahat has to offer. People. (Second one would be food). There's a lot of Chinese there, maybe 40%-50%, that's why you'll see a lot of shops, as the the Chinese traditionally have small businesses, while the Malays work in factories. Chinese in general in Malaysia, have a higher standard of living, better salaries, drive cars, send their kids to private (own Chinese) schools and go to the private hospitals. Besides that modern Chinese usually have 2-3 kids, while Malays can have 5 or more. Chinese overall make 1/3 of the Malaysian population, but in future that may change. Regardless of the race, I always encountered friendly people in Batu Pahat. I didn't have so much contact with Malays this time. I did go to some Indian hawkers that had very delicious food. Yea, as I said before, food is the second best thing in Batu Pahat. Well, most of the time I was in a Chinese environment. I lived in a Chinese family, everywhere I went was Chinese, in shops, cafés, hair saloons... Chinese have everything for themselves. Only policemen, construction workers and factory labour are predominantly Malays or Indians.
Batu Pahat - being in a Chinese environment
So, there I was, in this Chinese environment in Batu Pahat. I saw almost all shopping malls and temples. My girlfriend drove me around whole town, I saw everything. And one day I even walked. When I came home, my girlfriend's mum was really worried, because I was probably the only white guy walking in Batu Pahat and she was afraid that I could be a possible target for some muggers. People there are always afraid of criminals. Luckily I never experienced anything bad, I felt safe all of the time.
The best part of my Batu Pahat experience was the Chinese new year. I was never part of such a wonderful celabration. I met so many people, my girlfriend's relatives and friends, I visited so many places during that time. It was awsome. I even collected many red packages with money inside (angpao) given to visitors during Chinese new year for good luck. I made many new friends and I was a great 'uncle' to my girlfriend's nieces and nephews. They all loved me. And I loved them. They were sometimes unbearingly naughty, but then again, so many times they wanted to play with me, talk with me, they shared their stories, shared their food with me, even bought ice cream for me. That's why I want to write a little something about them.
Michelle (Ah En) - a special bond
I really miss Michelle, she's a 11 year old niece of my girlfriend. We had a special bond. She was not always very liked by everyone. She has a sad story of a neglecting father and mother. So maybe she brought up some fatherly instincts in me, but her story touched me. She opened up to me and loved to spend time with me, even taught me some Chinese, while I helped her with her English. She's a very loving girl, that just seeks attention by being naughty. If you spend time with her and if you show her that she's appreciated, she will give you love and affection in return and even tell you she loves you. It was a very touching moment, when 2 weeks before I had to go back, she would come to my room and tell me:"Uncle Nino, you have to go back to your country soon. I will miss you." And the more the day of my departure was coming closer, the more she reminded me how she'll miss me and how she'll cry when I go. It was tough to leave. I remeber the last few days she was so nervous, even calling me when I went to cinema with my girlfriend: "Uncle Nino, what are you doing? Are you coming home soon?" So cute and unexpected. I guess she really liked me. Even now, she would sometimes send me a text message.
Bubuleh - everybodie's darling
Besides Michelle, there was her little sister, the 2 years old Bubuleh (her nickname). She was such a cute little Chinese girl. Very smart for her young age and already a strong character. She would surprise people sometimes. I remember one moment, when my room's door was open and I was doing something on my laptop sitting on the floor. I said: "Bubu, lai la. Wo yao ni de bao bao!" (Bubu come, I want your hug). She was obviously headed somewhere or to someone, but suddenly stopped, came in my room and hugged me and then went back to where she was headed. What a touching moment. She loved to stay in my room. She loved to touch all the things and ask: "Zhe ge shi ni de?" (Is this yours?) "Zhe ge shi si yi de?" (Is this fourth aunt's? - her fourth aunt was my girlfriend). I always had to tell her: Don't touch, this is mine or fourth aunt's. Then she would let go. One day when she was in my room, she suddenly said in English: "Uncle Nino, I love you." Someone taught her this phrase, but who knows if she understood what she was saying, but it was so unexpected and cute, that I won't forget that. Her Chinese was better than mine. But I could communicate with her. Sometimes she would take my hand when we walked in the shopping mall or I would carry her. She was as light as a feather. But she also had a bad side. When she was moody, she could be very stubborn. She would start crying instantly if she didn't get what she want. Well, regardless if thatm the cute side prevailed.
Ah Teng and Vivian - the other two kids
Besides Michelle and Bubuleh, I have to mention Ah Teng and Vivien. They are brother and sister and Michelle's and Bubuleh's cousins. Ah Teng is a 7 years old boy and can be very naughty. He's sometimes hyperenergetic and can't stand still, but he has his moments when he's very calm and polite. He loves to play games. Vivien is the shy 12 year old, but she looks much younger. She's smart and her English is excellent. I could communicate in basic English with her normally, which was helpful many times, as she would be the translator between my girlfriend's parents and me. I liked her temper, it was usually very calm. Only if she felt she was treated unjust, she could show some hot temper. I think she will be a very successful girl later. And I miss her and her brother a lot, too.
Jie Fu - the pub and snooker buddy
I also have to mention my two buddies, Jie Fu and Kenny. Jie Fu is the first sister's husband, Kenny is second sister's husband. I went out with Jie Fu a lot. His English was not as good as Kennie's, but we could communicate and have fun. And he treated me ALWAYS! Never saw such a generous person in my life. Wherever we went, pub or snooker, he would always pay, even if I begged him not to. He said: "When I'm in your country, you treat me." I remember we went to that Soho pub, where you usually order beer in small buckets with ice cubes. Usually there's 4 Tiger beers inside (0.33 bottles) and it's quite expensive. I think it was 50RM for 4 beers (10€). We went there early, maybe around 8, it was almost empty. So the waitresses, who were Malay or Chinese, were dressed up in skirts and high heels and they would come to you, open the beer bottle and pour the beer for you and also chat with you. I remember I met a Malay girl named Anna. We chatted about her life and where I'm from and what I'm doing in Malaysia. It was a nice conversation and her English was great. Unfortunately I never met her again. I think she was 30+. Later the pub really got crowded and people danced and drank, the music was awful though. Mostly some dance or trance and too loud for my taste. You couldn't talk, only scream into each other's ears. I remember I really got wasted at that time and even danced with one girl: Ah Jia. Jie Fu called one of my girlfriend's sister and she came to the pub with her friends and introduced me to Ah Jia, she's around 19 years old Chinese girl. She loves to dance and she kept pulling me to the dance floor. I guess I was wasted enough and gave in. But in the end it was fun, I won't forget it (btw, Ah Jia got pregnant few weeks ago and is now married... That goes fast sometimes). Another time me and Jie Fu went out was an outdoor bar with some karaoke screen where people would drink and sing. You have a lot of these places in Batu Pahat. Jie Fu and me were early there and a Vietnamese girl sat at our table, looked mid twenty, with high heels and skirt and spoke perfect Chinese. So Jie Fu talked with her and she asked about him and me and some other things. I forgot her name. But she was really talking a lot (and lying as well, as Jie Fu noticed). She kept pouring our beer, I could make one sip and she poured some more. My glass was always full and I really don't like when they do that, but it was my first experience of that kind, so I just let it be. She loved that kuaci (a seed, eaten like peanuts in the West) and while she was talking, she kept eating it all the time. When there was more people coming to the bar, she had to leave. After she returned, she said she wanted to play a game. She brought two dices and said if the number is even, I have to drink, if the number is odd, she has to drink. Of course she drank our beer, but we didn't mind. I liked to compete and it was fun at first. I lost many times and had to drink a lot. Suddenly her luck changed and she had to drink a lot. I saw on her face that she was not very pleased with that. She went to tend another table and soon after that, we left. Besides pubs and bars, we would love to go play pool billiard or snooker. He was a very good player and it was many times very even. We played until 4 wins, it was usually 4:3 either for me or him. It was a lot of fun. I miss hanging out with him. That was my great time with Jie Fu.
Kenny - the thoughtful friend
Kenny is different. His English is excellent and we would sometimes talk a lot about everything: about Malaysia, about life, about movies and gadgets, business and family matters. He invited me to two cultural events. I saw the best dragon dance in my life and many other excellent performances. Kenny is a very deep and thoughtful person, a mix of modern and traditional Chinese. The one who's proud to be Chinese in general. And he loves movies and American series like Prison Break and 24. I remember few days before I had to return to Europe, we went to the movies with him and his wife (the second sister a.k.a. Er Jie) and saw Underworld 3. It was not a bad movie, but more of a special effects flick than something plot-driven. Anyway, I had a nice time with Kenny.
The father - cared like a real father
The third male person, that really liked me, was my girlfriend's father. I couldn't hang out with him, because he mostly spoke hokkien (a Chinese dialect) and I spoke English. So we used sign language or sometimes he would say few words in English and surprise me. He's an almost 60 year old Chinese man, he's very skinny and loves to be shirtless, because it's so hot. That's why his skin is dark brown (almost like Malay). He loves to smoke and drink coffee. Since I like coffee, too, he would always make some for both and just bring it to me or he'd invite me out for coffee. Aside from that, he'd bring me fruits and sweets and food and drinks. He would always offer me something, even bring me somewhere out to eat. People sometimes said we were like 'chicken and duck'. It's a Chinese saying, implying that 2 people spend time together who don't speak the same language. Anyway, if I'd speak some of his language, I'm sure we could bond more and have some conversations. I remember when I got sick around new year, he would always check on me, if I'm ok, if I need something. That showed me that he really cares about me. Even if sometimes was hard to tell him that I wasn't hungry or thirsty, I still thought better a possible father-in-law that cares too much than too little. He was also the initiator of the big surprise the sisters staged when they bought me the new Nokia E66. I will never forget, how he gave me the Nokia in a box and I was totally astonished. Since I wanted to buy it with my own money, I didn't expect that they will surprise me with a farewell present of that kind. That's still unforgettable for me and thank you all and special thanks to the father who had this idea.
The Chinese sisters
And now to the female part. My girlfriend had 7 sisters! No a single brother. Then it's no wonder that it was sometimes loud and messy, but if they didn't argue, it was tons of fun. I really felt that all of them became my sisters, from the smallest (Xiao Mei, 17) to the eldest (Da Jie, 30). I had fun with most of them. The ones who spoke English were easier to approach for me. Among them were Da Jie, the big sister and Ah Wen, the 7th sister.
Ah Wen - the funny sister
Ah Wen is 19. I really like her. She's the most funny of all the sisters, her English is sufficient to have a nice chat. And she's a very warm and approachable person, who loves to chat. It was the easiest for me to ask her, if I needed something. She would always bring me some food from the hawker. I don't know who payed, but I'm sure she treated me many times, although she didn't have a job and was usually short on money. I wanted to giver her the money for the meal, but she always rejected it. I remember when I ask her: "How come you always bring me food?" she replied: "You are my future bro-in-law, you are part of my family, so it's normal that I will do that." That was very touching for me. I know she will be very successful. She's pretty, very outgoing and smart. She dreams of being a stewardess, but wasn't lucky so far. I hope her dream will come true. I'd be so happy for her. I miss her a lot. She is still texting me sometimes and I'm very happy about that.
Da Jie - the big sister
Besides Ah Wen, there was Da Jie, who chatted with me a lot. Her English was just enough to communicate. Even though she struggled with it, I always felt very comfortable talking to her. She's a warm person as well. She had 2 kids (now already 3) and is married over 12 years. She's the big sister and I can understand her role, since I am the big brother to my two sisters. She cares about everybody. She likes to be involved. Some didn't like that, but to me she was always very kind and would always help me, be there for me. I really like her. I remember we had many conversations during some trips in the car. That was fun.
Xiao Mei - the little sister
The other sisters weren't fluent in English so much, that's why I couldn't communicate with them as much as with Ah Wen and Da Jie. I could ask something in Chinese and would understand their answer, but was hard to have a good conversation. Regardless of that, I knew they liked me. There was Xiao Mei. She would be my guide when we went to temples or shopping malls. If I wanted to buy shoes or pants, she would be my girlfriend replacement. She would help me out find stuff and telling me if it looks good. She's the 'slow sister'. She likes to enjoy everything slowly and her sisters tease her that she's too slow and lazy. She loves to watch TV, mostly Taiwanese shows and reading Chinese novels. She's very cute and popular with everyone.
Ah Ling - the 6th sister
The 6th sister, Ah Ling, is 21. She has a boyfriend who would always drop by at the house, his name is Ah Juan. He's a very funny guy. They mostly spend time together. She was the one, who rarely spoke with me, because she was shy to speak English, so I really didn't get to know her until Chinese new year, when we played a lot of mahjong together. She opened up and I think she's a very nice girl.
Ah Juan - the second funny sister
And then there's Ah Juan! She is the one who can be very loud and funny, usually both at the same time. The first days she was a bit reserved towards me, but she soon warmed up and I had a lot of fun with her, especially when we played mahjong during Chinese new year. One time we played almost all night and she and Ah Wen were so funny, that we were laughing out loud in the middle of the night, while other's were sleeping. That was some crazy time I won't forget.
San Jie - the third sister
Then there is the 3rd sister, San Jie. She's Michelle's and Bubuleh's mother. She didn't live at home anymore, but she would visit a lot. She didn't speak English, but she treated me food many times or invited me out. Thank you for that, I won't forget. She had the Nokia E66 and when I saw it, I checked it out and decided that this is the cell phone I want. And in the end I got it, thanx to all the sisters (read this post). Amazing.
Er Jie - the second sister
The last one of the sisters is the 2nd sister or Er Jie. She is the tallest and skinniest of all of them, but also the loudest. She really has a hot temper I never saw before. You have to experience it to see what I mean. She's Kennie's wife and sometimes I really felt bad for him. But on the other hand, he was really a lucky man, because when she was happy and relaxed, she was such a sunshine and fun to be with. She really has 2 sides and you better stay away from her when she's under stress. She fetched me and my girlfriend from Changi Airport, when we returned from Hong Kong and she also accompanied us to Kuala Lumpur airport when we left. I remember I snapped a photo with her when we waited for my plane back to Europe. She's a nice girl and I wish her well.
The mother - a great mom
I have to say something about my girlfriend's mom. She's really such a dilligent hard working woman you'll seldom meet anywhere. She has a small food stall that keeps her busy every day. She cooks for everybody, cleans the house, washes and irons. And everybody loves her, especially her grandchildren. She is a traditional Chinese woman, but she allows her daughters more than the father. She's the centre of the family. When the girls have problems, they would come to her and tell her what's on their minds. She would never tell or gossip, she would listen and advice. And the girls really love her for that. She is such an amazing lady. She always cooked such a great Chinese food, which I really miss. She always looked after me, asked me if I needed something. She would just ask me in Chinese and when I learned some more, I replied in Chinese as well. Even if we had communication issues, I always felt welcome. Thank you, auntie. I miss you.
A great girl
And to round up my Batu Pahat experience, I have to write something about the girl whose family hosted me, the girl who was the reason I came to Malaysia, to Batu Pahat. She is now my ex girlfriend, but I am not used to this ex when I'm talking about my time in Batu Pahat. She was my girlfriend at that time and that's why I dropped the ex until here. Well, if you follow me on my blog, you have noticed we broke up recently. Nevertheless, that won't tarnish my fond memories of that time. It was one of the best times I ever had and I'm really thankful to you. You are a great girl and I always had tons of fun with you, when I was there. You were busy a lot, but when we had some free time, we mostly enjoyed it. I won't forget our happy days and unforgettable nights, our trips to KL, Singapore, Hong Kong, Genting, Kluang and Muar... We really had many ups and few downs, but it won't change how I feel about this time: I feel happy and filled with unforgettable memories for life. That's why I had to let these emotions out here on my blog. Whatever will happen in the future, whichever direction our lives will go to, I will always cherish this time, our time, and everything that I recieved. I felt being part of a big family. At least once in my life I was that lucky. This gave me strength for the future. All the kids and all your sisters, who liked me, gave me something money could never buy: love, care and true friendship. I can't thank you enough and I can't tell you enough how much good luck I wish to you and to your whole family, to the all of the people I've met and learned to like and appreciate. I miss you all very much. 谢谢你们!
Batu Pahat is not a beautiful town at first glance. But it grows on you. I remember when I first came to this part of Malaysia (in 2007), I was a bit shocked. I came from Penang, the so called Pearl of the Orient, one of the most beautiful Malaysian cities. I drove 9h from to Batu Pahat on a bus and reached there in the early morning. I was all groggy and sleepy. It was one of the toughest rides in my life. In the early morning Batu Pahat looked like a ghost town to me. Wide streets with run down facades, it seemed dirty and neglected. It was so different from any other Malaysian town I saw before. I only stayed 2 days there, so it couldn't really grow on me. At that time I was in love with Penang (but that's another story I may post one day).
Batu Pahat - second encounter
And then came 2008 and my second visit to my girlfriend's hometown: Batu Pahat. I spent 3 months there, although I didn't know at first how long I'll be staying.So at first, I had same feelings about Batu Pahat. I felt lost, had no orientation. Batu Pahat has no real centre of town, but many small ones spread all over the place. It seems as a small town, but it actually has around 150.000 inhabitants in the town area (if you include the suburbs 450.000). When I found out about that, I thought that's a lot of people for such a seemingly small town. It has even more inhabitants than our Slovenian capital Ljubljana. But I never heard about Batu Pahat before, it is not very well-known. Not even in Asia. But currently it's one of the fastest growing Malaysian towns. That's certainly true, because I could see a lot of progress since my 1st visit in 2007. They put new asphalt on the all main roads, but most of them have no sidewalk. Batu Pahat sometimes looks like an American town in the Midwest with wide (and not pedestrian-friendly) roads, that are only made for cars. And that's another thing typical for Batu Pahat. People only walk in shopping-malls. Everywhere else they're driving - either in cars (mostly Chinese) or on motorbikes (mostly Malays).
And now we come to the best thing that Batu Pahat has to offer. People. (Second one would be food). There's a lot of Chinese there, maybe 40%-50%, that's why you'll see a lot of shops, as the the Chinese traditionally have small businesses, while the Malays work in factories. Chinese in general in Malaysia, have a higher standard of living, better salaries, drive cars, send their kids to private (own Chinese) schools and go to the private hospitals. Besides that modern Chinese usually have 2-3 kids, while Malays can have 5 or more. Chinese overall make 1/3 of the Malaysian population, but in future that may change. Regardless of the race, I always encountered friendly people in Batu Pahat. I didn't have so much contact with Malays this time. I did go to some Indian hawkers that had very delicious food. Yea, as I said before, food is the second best thing in Batu Pahat. Well, most of the time I was in a Chinese environment. I lived in a Chinese family, everywhere I went was Chinese, in shops, cafés, hair saloons... Chinese have everything for themselves. Only policemen, construction workers and factory labour are predominantly Malays or Indians.
Batu Pahat - being in a Chinese environment
So, there I was, in this Chinese environment in Batu Pahat. I saw almost all shopping malls and temples. My girlfriend drove me around whole town, I saw everything. And one day I even walked. When I came home, my girlfriend's mum was really worried, because I was probably the only white guy walking in Batu Pahat and she was afraid that I could be a possible target for some muggers. People there are always afraid of criminals. Luckily I never experienced anything bad, I felt safe all of the time.
The best part of my Batu Pahat experience was the Chinese new year. I was never part of such a wonderful celabration. I met so many people, my girlfriend's relatives and friends, I visited so many places during that time. It was awsome. I even collected many red packages with money inside (angpao) given to visitors during Chinese new year for good luck. I made many new friends and I was a great 'uncle' to my girlfriend's nieces and nephews. They all loved me. And I loved them. They were sometimes unbearingly naughty, but then again, so many times they wanted to play with me, talk with me, they shared their stories, shared their food with me, even bought ice cream for me. That's why I want to write a little something about them.
Michelle (Ah En) - a special bond
I really miss Michelle, she's a 11 year old niece of my girlfriend. We had a special bond. She was not always very liked by everyone. She has a sad story of a neglecting father and mother. So maybe she brought up some fatherly instincts in me, but her story touched me. She opened up to me and loved to spend time with me, even taught me some Chinese, while I helped her with her English. She's a very loving girl, that just seeks attention by being naughty. If you spend time with her and if you show her that she's appreciated, she will give you love and affection in return and even tell you she loves you. It was a very touching moment, when 2 weeks before I had to go back, she would come to my room and tell me:"Uncle Nino, you have to go back to your country soon. I will miss you." And the more the day of my departure was coming closer, the more she reminded me how she'll miss me and how she'll cry when I go. It was tough to leave. I remeber the last few days she was so nervous, even calling me when I went to cinema with my girlfriend: "Uncle Nino, what are you doing? Are you coming home soon?" So cute and unexpected. I guess she really liked me. Even now, she would sometimes send me a text message.
Bubuleh - everybodie's darling
Besides Michelle, there was her little sister, the 2 years old Bubuleh (her nickname). She was such a cute little Chinese girl. Very smart for her young age and already a strong character. She would surprise people sometimes. I remember one moment, when my room's door was open and I was doing something on my laptop sitting on the floor. I said: "Bubu, lai la. Wo yao ni de bao bao!" (Bubu come, I want your hug). She was obviously headed somewhere or to someone, but suddenly stopped, came in my room and hugged me and then went back to where she was headed. What a touching moment. She loved to stay in my room. She loved to touch all the things and ask: "Zhe ge shi ni de?" (Is this yours?) "Zhe ge shi si yi de?" (Is this fourth aunt's? - her fourth aunt was my girlfriend). I always had to tell her: Don't touch, this is mine or fourth aunt's. Then she would let go. One day when she was in my room, she suddenly said in English: "Uncle Nino, I love you." Someone taught her this phrase, but who knows if she understood what she was saying, but it was so unexpected and cute, that I won't forget that. Her Chinese was better than mine. But I could communicate with her. Sometimes she would take my hand when we walked in the shopping mall or I would carry her. She was as light as a feather. But she also had a bad side. When she was moody, she could be very stubborn. She would start crying instantly if she didn't get what she want. Well, regardless if thatm the cute side prevailed.
Ah Teng and Vivian - the other two kids
Besides Michelle and Bubuleh, I have to mention Ah Teng and Vivien. They are brother and sister and Michelle's and Bubuleh's cousins. Ah Teng is a 7 years old boy and can be very naughty. He's sometimes hyperenergetic and can't stand still, but he has his moments when he's very calm and polite. He loves to play games. Vivien is the shy 12 year old, but she looks much younger. She's smart and her English is excellent. I could communicate in basic English with her normally, which was helpful many times, as she would be the translator between my girlfriend's parents and me. I liked her temper, it was usually very calm. Only if she felt she was treated unjust, she could show some hot temper. I think she will be a very successful girl later. And I miss her and her brother a lot, too.
Jie Fu - the pub and snooker buddy
I also have to mention my two buddies, Jie Fu and Kenny. Jie Fu is the first sister's husband, Kenny is second sister's husband. I went out with Jie Fu a lot. His English was not as good as Kennie's, but we could communicate and have fun. And he treated me ALWAYS! Never saw such a generous person in my life. Wherever we went, pub or snooker, he would always pay, even if I begged him not to. He said: "When I'm in your country, you treat me." I remember we went to that Soho pub, where you usually order beer in small buckets with ice cubes. Usually there's 4 Tiger beers inside (0.33 bottles) and it's quite expensive. I think it was 50RM for 4 beers (10€). We went there early, maybe around 8, it was almost empty. So the waitresses, who were Malay or Chinese, were dressed up in skirts and high heels and they would come to you, open the beer bottle and pour the beer for you and also chat with you. I remember I met a Malay girl named Anna. We chatted about her life and where I'm from and what I'm doing in Malaysia. It was a nice conversation and her English was great. Unfortunately I never met her again. I think she was 30+. Later the pub really got crowded and people danced and drank, the music was awful though. Mostly some dance or trance and too loud for my taste. You couldn't talk, only scream into each other's ears. I remember I really got wasted at that time and even danced with one girl: Ah Jia. Jie Fu called one of my girlfriend's sister and she came to the pub with her friends and introduced me to Ah Jia, she's around 19 years old Chinese girl. She loves to dance and she kept pulling me to the dance floor. I guess I was wasted enough and gave in. But in the end it was fun, I won't forget it (btw, Ah Jia got pregnant few weeks ago and is now married... That goes fast sometimes). Another time me and Jie Fu went out was an outdoor bar with some karaoke screen where people would drink and sing. You have a lot of these places in Batu Pahat. Jie Fu and me were early there and a Vietnamese girl sat at our table, looked mid twenty, with high heels and skirt and spoke perfect Chinese. So Jie Fu talked with her and she asked about him and me and some other things. I forgot her name. But she was really talking a lot (and lying as well, as Jie Fu noticed). She kept pouring our beer, I could make one sip and she poured some more. My glass was always full and I really don't like when they do that, but it was my first experience of that kind, so I just let it be. She loved that kuaci (a seed, eaten like peanuts in the West) and while she was talking, she kept eating it all the time. When there was more people coming to the bar, she had to leave. After she returned, she said she wanted to play a game. She brought two dices and said if the number is even, I have to drink, if the number is odd, she has to drink. Of course she drank our beer, but we didn't mind. I liked to compete and it was fun at first. I lost many times and had to drink a lot. Suddenly her luck changed and she had to drink a lot. I saw on her face that she was not very pleased with that. She went to tend another table and soon after that, we left. Besides pubs and bars, we would love to go play pool billiard or snooker. He was a very good player and it was many times very even. We played until 4 wins, it was usually 4:3 either for me or him. It was a lot of fun. I miss hanging out with him. That was my great time with Jie Fu.Kenny - the thoughtful friend
Kenny is different. His English is excellent and we would sometimes talk a lot about everything: about Malaysia, about life, about movies and gadgets, business and family matters. He invited me to two cultural events. I saw the best dragon dance in my life and many other excellent performances. Kenny is a very deep and thoughtful person, a mix of modern and traditional Chinese. The one who's proud to be Chinese in general. And he loves movies and American series like Prison Break and 24. I remember few days before I had to return to Europe, we went to the movies with him and his wife (the second sister a.k.a. Er Jie) and saw Underworld 3. It was not a bad movie, but more of a special effects flick than something plot-driven. Anyway, I had a nice time with Kenny.
The father - cared like a real father
The third male person, that really liked me, was my girlfriend's father. I couldn't hang out with him, because he mostly spoke hokkien (a Chinese dialect) and I spoke English. So we used sign language or sometimes he would say few words in English and surprise me. He's an almost 60 year old Chinese man, he's very skinny and loves to be shirtless, because it's so hot. That's why his skin is dark brown (almost like Malay). He loves to smoke and drink coffee. Since I like coffee, too, he would always make some for both and just bring it to me or he'd invite me out for coffee. Aside from that, he'd bring me fruits and sweets and food and drinks. He would always offer me something, even bring me somewhere out to eat. People sometimes said we were like 'chicken and duck'. It's a Chinese saying, implying that 2 people spend time together who don't speak the same language. Anyway, if I'd speak some of his language, I'm sure we could bond more and have some conversations. I remember when I got sick around new year, he would always check on me, if I'm ok, if I need something. That showed me that he really cares about me. Even if sometimes was hard to tell him that I wasn't hungry or thirsty, I still thought better a possible father-in-law that cares too much than too little. He was also the initiator of the big surprise the sisters staged when they bought me the new Nokia E66. I will never forget, how he gave me the Nokia in a box and I was totally astonished. Since I wanted to buy it with my own money, I didn't expect that they will surprise me with a farewell present of that kind. That's still unforgettable for me and thank you all and special thanks to the father who had this idea.
The Chinese sisters
And now to the female part. My girlfriend had 7 sisters! No a single brother. Then it's no wonder that it was sometimes loud and messy, but if they didn't argue, it was tons of fun. I really felt that all of them became my sisters, from the smallest (Xiao Mei, 17) to the eldest (Da Jie, 30). I had fun with most of them. The ones who spoke English were easier to approach for me. Among them were Da Jie, the big sister and Ah Wen, the 7th sister.
Ah Wen - the funny sister
Ah Wen is 19. I really like her. She's the most funny of all the sisters, her English is sufficient to have a nice chat. And she's a very warm and approachable person, who loves to chat. It was the easiest for me to ask her, if I needed something. She would always bring me some food from the hawker. I don't know who payed, but I'm sure she treated me many times, although she didn't have a job and was usually short on money. I wanted to giver her the money for the meal, but she always rejected it. I remember when I ask her: "How come you always bring me food?" she replied: "You are my future bro-in-law, you are part of my family, so it's normal that I will do that." That was very touching for me. I know she will be very successful. She's pretty, very outgoing and smart. She dreams of being a stewardess, but wasn't lucky so far. I hope her dream will come true. I'd be so happy for her. I miss her a lot. She is still texting me sometimes and I'm very happy about that.
Da Jie - the big sister
Besides Ah Wen, there was Da Jie, who chatted with me a lot. Her English was just enough to communicate. Even though she struggled with it, I always felt very comfortable talking to her. She's a warm person as well. She had 2 kids (now already 3) and is married over 12 years. She's the big sister and I can understand her role, since I am the big brother to my two sisters. She cares about everybody. She likes to be involved. Some didn't like that, but to me she was always very kind and would always help me, be there for me. I really like her. I remember we had many conversations during some trips in the car. That was fun.
Xiao Mei - the little sister
The other sisters weren't fluent in English so much, that's why I couldn't communicate with them as much as with Ah Wen and Da Jie. I could ask something in Chinese and would understand their answer, but was hard to have a good conversation. Regardless of that, I knew they liked me. There was Xiao Mei. She would be my guide when we went to temples or shopping malls. If I wanted to buy shoes or pants, she would be my girlfriend replacement. She would help me out find stuff and telling me if it looks good. She's the 'slow sister'. She likes to enjoy everything slowly and her sisters tease her that she's too slow and lazy. She loves to watch TV, mostly Taiwanese shows and reading Chinese novels. She's very cute and popular with everyone.
Ah Ling - the 6th sister
The 6th sister, Ah Ling, is 21. She has a boyfriend who would always drop by at the house, his name is Ah Juan. He's a very funny guy. They mostly spend time together. She was the one, who rarely spoke with me, because she was shy to speak English, so I really didn't get to know her until Chinese new year, when we played a lot of mahjong together. She opened up and I think she's a very nice girl.
Ah Juan - the second funny sister
And then there's Ah Juan! She is the one who can be very loud and funny, usually both at the same time. The first days she was a bit reserved towards me, but she soon warmed up and I had a lot of fun with her, especially when we played mahjong during Chinese new year. One time we played almost all night and she and Ah Wen were so funny, that we were laughing out loud in the middle of the night, while other's were sleeping. That was some crazy time I won't forget.
San Jie - the third sister
Then there is the 3rd sister, San Jie. She's Michelle's and Bubuleh's mother. She didn't live at home anymore, but she would visit a lot. She didn't speak English, but she treated me food many times or invited me out. Thank you for that, I won't forget. She had the Nokia E66 and when I saw it, I checked it out and decided that this is the cell phone I want. And in the end I got it, thanx to all the sisters (read this post). Amazing.
Er Jie - the second sister
The last one of the sisters is the 2nd sister or Er Jie. She is the tallest and skinniest of all of them, but also the loudest. She really has a hot temper I never saw before. You have to experience it to see what I mean. She's Kennie's wife and sometimes I really felt bad for him. But on the other hand, he was really a lucky man, because when she was happy and relaxed, she was such a sunshine and fun to be with. She really has 2 sides and you better stay away from her when she's under stress. She fetched me and my girlfriend from Changi Airport, when we returned from Hong Kong and she also accompanied us to Kuala Lumpur airport when we left. I remember I snapped a photo with her when we waited for my plane back to Europe. She's a nice girl and I wish her well.
The mother - a great mom
I have to say something about my girlfriend's mom. She's really such a dilligent hard working woman you'll seldom meet anywhere. She has a small food stall that keeps her busy every day. She cooks for everybody, cleans the house, washes and irons. And everybody loves her, especially her grandchildren. She is a traditional Chinese woman, but she allows her daughters more than the father. She's the centre of the family. When the girls have problems, they would come to her and tell her what's on their minds. She would never tell or gossip, she would listen and advice. And the girls really love her for that. She is such an amazing lady. She always cooked such a great Chinese food, which I really miss. She always looked after me, asked me if I needed something. She would just ask me in Chinese and when I learned some more, I replied in Chinese as well. Even if we had communication issues, I always felt welcome. Thank you, auntie. I miss you. A great girl
And to round up my Batu Pahat experience, I have to write something about the girl whose family hosted me, the girl who was the reason I came to Malaysia, to Batu Pahat. She is now my ex girlfriend, but I am not used to this ex when I'm talking about my time in Batu Pahat. She was my girlfriend at that time and that's why I dropped the ex until here. Well, if you follow me on my blog, you have noticed we broke up recently. Nevertheless, that won't tarnish my fond memories of that time. It was one of the best times I ever had and I'm really thankful to you. You are a great girl and I always had tons of fun with you, when I was there. You were busy a lot, but when we had some free time, we mostly enjoyed it. I won't forget our happy days and unforgettable nights, our trips to KL, Singapore, Hong Kong, Genting, Kluang and Muar... We really had many ups and few downs, but it won't change how I feel about this time: I feel happy and filled with unforgettable memories for life. That's why I had to let these emotions out here on my blog. Whatever will happen in the future, whichever direction our lives will go to, I will always cherish this time, our time, and everything that I recieved. I felt being part of a big family. At least once in my life I was that lucky. This gave me strength for the future. All the kids and all your sisters, who liked me, gave me something money could never buy: love, care and true friendship. I can't thank you enough and I can't tell you enough how much good luck I wish to you and to your whole family, to the all of the people I've met and learned to like and appreciate. I miss you all very much. 谢谢你们!
[My MALAYSIA page][My BATU PAHAT page][All photos by MKL, 2008/09]
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