Why do we need blog awards?

I don't get it. The intergalactic dear leader Xenu approved a blog award that was sent to my blog via alien technology. I logged in to my Blogger account and there it was: The pink banner with the dearest words ever said to me (check the pic on the left). But what is wrong with me? Why do I not appreciate blog awards, be it given to me or to some other blogger? I've seen 'homemade' blog awards (unlike the one Xenu sent me of course!). I've seen blog awards on blogs that made me cringe and throw up at the same time (you Texan know, which one I am talking about!) and yeah, I came to the conclusion that these awards are not worth half a dime. Let me explain why:

1. There's no blog award show on TV: I think every award should be given in a show that is broadcasted on prime time TV. The blogger should have a speech prepared, where he thanks his parents, God (obviously!), the blog hosting service and its CEO and all the other bloggers that inspired him.
2. Bloggers give the award to each other: And then they put a banner on the side bar. Wouldn't it be more objective, if a team of linguists, literature historians and IT specialists examined the blogs and judged them by their language use, content and design? Or would that be too far, because after all, good blogs are fairly subjective matters?
3. Good blogs are fairly subjective matters: An awarded blog can be the best blog in the world for someone or the shittiest blog for someone else (pardon my French).
   
4. Blog award banners are all kinds of size: That's why when you have many of these banners on your side bar, it destroys the design and as points 1, 2 and 3 exposed, it does not mean anything.
5. Blog awards are abused for posts: I've noticed that every blogger who gets an award blogs about it. Ok, I was also blogging about Xenu's blog award that I recieved today, but that's different. I don't abuse this award for a 'filler', because I ran out of ideas (check my archive, duh!). Nope. I'm using Xenu's blessings to expose all the other fake blog awards. If any, it's the Xenu's intergalactic web award that's worth an undamaged dime.
   

I spoke. Did you take notes?