I'm so emo lately. I don't know why. I don't even have ideas to blog about. I mean to write my own original stuff. Things piss me off. People piss me off. Some people.
I was thinking about my ex a lot. She messages me sometimes, but everytime she does, it makes me even more unhappy. It's just a simple "hi, how are you" message. I struggle to reply and usually it's something very shallow. I just do it because I don't want to get another message that will ask me why I stopped replying. I've been with this girl over 2 years. We've had a long distance relationship, but we had plans, dreams, expectations. But it just didn't work. I'm almost 3 months single now and I feel like crap. If she'd ask me back, I couldn't. If someone new hit on me, I couldn't. I don't even know, if some hottie offered me a one-night-stand, if I'd want to do it. I just don't know why am I in this state with no energy. I've been in relationships for almost 7 years in a row. It wore me out. I'll be 30 next year and I feel like love and relationship will become rational matters for me. I don't believe in romantic love for a while already. Romantic means unreal for me. It means you want to see the person the way he/she is not. Until you realize that... and get disappointed. That's why I wonder how will my next relationship be, if I take a rational approach. Is it even possible? Or will I be in a different state and back to my roots of being a highly emotional guy, that spreads honey around the girl's mouth and makes her melt? Someone who puts his whole heart into something? I don't know and I guess you will be the first one to know here. I'm just so emo. Someone give me a jab or something. Or just kick my ass. My sister has a new boyfriend 2 months after she broke up with the ex. So what am I waiting for? I donno leh...
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