Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Happiness can make you insecure

"Happiness is not having what you want. It is wanting what you have."
~by unknown

I'm very happy recently. I'm positive, I'm hopeful and things go according to my plans. And yes, I'm in love. So I really can't complain about anything at this moment. It's even hard to blog these days, because I don't see things negative, I don't even think too much about various issues that don't relate to my life.
But you know, happiness sometimes scares me, because in my life I've had more unhappy moments than happy ones. And when I was down, I knew it will get better. When I hit rock bottom, I knew I could only raise up again. But what happens after being on top for a while? My fear would be that suddenly something bad would happen, which would make me unhappy again. I haven't been happy for a long time and therefore I really cherish how things are recently and I just want to keep them this way. So it's no wonder, that at times I get insecure about the smallest things. It's like I'm just anticipating that something bad might happen again. Lucky for me that's very rare these days. I'm much stronger than I used to be in the past and usually a talk with a friend or with my dear helps very quickly.

I hope in the next few weeks and months I will be able to blog about my adventures in Asia. Yes, I'm planning to go to the East next year, to a lovely little country, find work and stay there as long as possible. All details will be announced at the right time. I just hope things go smoothly and that I can stay as happy as I am now also in the months ahead. I wish the same to all of you: Cherish what you have and may it last for a long time.

Good luck.
[Photo by Lils]

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