Happiness can make you insecure

"Happiness is not having what you want. It is wanting what you have."

~by unknown

I'm very happy recently. I'm positive, I'm hopeful and things go according to my plans. And yes, I'm in love. So I really can't complain about anything at this moment. It's even hard to blog these days, because I don't see things negative, I don't even think too much about various issues that don't relate to my life.

But you know, happiness sometimes scares me, because in my life I've had more unhappy moments than happy ones. And when I was down, I knew it will get better. When I hit rock bottom, I knew I could only raise up again. But what happens after being on top for a while? My fear would be that suddenly something bad would happen, which would make me unhappy again. I haven't been happy for a long time and therefore I really cherish how things are recently and I just want to keep them this way. So it's no wonder, that at times I get insecure about the smallest things. It's like I'm just anticipating that something bad might happen again. Lucky for me that's very rare these days. I'm much stronger than I used to be in the past and usually a talk with a friend or with my dear helps very quickly.

I hope in the next few weeks and months I will be able to blog about my adventures in Asia. Yes, I'm planning to go to the East next year, to a lovely little country, find work and stay there as long as possible. All details will be announced at the right time. I just hope things go smoothly and that I can stay as happy as I am now also in the months ahead. I wish the same to all of you: Cherish what you have and may it last for a long time.

Good luck.

[Photo by Lils]

Greetings from Mauritius

Yay! I'm so happy today. My dear and lovely bloggy friend Manju (from the blog where She's Constantly Gone) sent me a postcard from her beautiful country Mauritius. Look!

We actually swapped postcards, so I hope she will get my card from Slovenia soon. I really wonder when mine will arrive at her place. I hope it won't take so long, I have my reasons ;)

I must say that before I knew Manju, I didn't know a lot about Mauritius [check Wiki]. I knew it's an island nation located somewhere in the Indian ocean. I'd probably look somewhere near the Maldives, because they're a bit more known. Many people go to Maldives on vacation here, but less so to Mauritius. So when you look on the world map, you can easily remember that Mauritius is closer to Africa, actually right next Madagascar and the Maldives are closer to Asia, actually right next to India.

Ok, so thru Manju I learned a lot about Mauritius. Here are some random facts, based on my own personal experiences (so please don't sue me, if you experience something different):

1 Mauritians are very friendly, besides Manju, I got to know Angele and Jaimie, two lovely Mauritian bloggers, who are always very kind and funny. Check out their blogs.

2 Never offer cake to Mauritians! They'll take it very seriously and they'll let you know many many times that you need to keep your promise [*yes, that was on the postcard, too :P].

3 Mauritian kids will stare at you like an owl. You don't belive it? Read here.

4 Cakes in the shape of the famous game Pac man are totally in there now, see here.

5 Mauritians are very pragmatic. If the stamp doesn't fit the postcard, the will fold it over the edge and to the other side. I shall name that a lolstamp (see the pic above).

Thanks again, Manju, for the lovely card. Now I just hope mine will be delivered to you in one piece and with no lolstamps, hehe. This was fun. Hope others do that some time, too.

My Kafkaesque life redesigned

Hello, my readers. I hope my new blog layout didn't shock you. I've been meaning to change my template for a while, but I didn't have any good ideas. Then I bumped into a template I really liked and after spending few hours on customizing and tweaking - this is my result. How do you like it?

Now, the main reason to do this change was because my old template loaded very slowly. That really pissed me off for a while now. This one loads faster, also because I put less stuff on my sidebar. Well, let's say 95% of tweaking is done now. I will probably add some stuff on my sidebars (like I always do), but this is how my blog will stay now for a while now, I hope longer than the 5 months my old layout lasted. I'm most happy about the white background and the black font. I think it'll look a bit more mature and easier to read.

Redesign feedback update: So far most of the reactions were positive. Even the fabulous Dawn sent me some compliments in a tweet, which made me very happy. And not to forget the lovely Manju and Adeline in the Cbox, who also liked it. I'm so blessed with exceptional women. And thanks to all of you who left comments. I appreciate your feedback. I'm happy how it turned out.

Now happy blogging everybody.

Your MKL.

Wang Zi Fei: Chinese online sensation

China's beauty in black

Recently there was news about a girl in China named Wang Zi Fei (王紫菲), who has become an instant internet sensation! She's called The Beauty in Black, but I'll explain that later. First have a look at her pictures: Doesn't she look beautiful?

Do you want to know how she became famous?

She sat behind US president Obama at his town hall meeting with an audience of students in Shanghai (Nov 16, 2009). While he spoke about individual rights and freedoms, the camera captured Wang Zi Fei in the back, who took of her red jacket and sat there in a black shirt and skirt and listened. Soon after the broadcasting Chinese netizens went crazy and started to speculate about her, naming her The Beauty in Black and begun to spread all kinds of false (and also nasty rumours) about her [Source here]. Soon her identity was public and the poor girl had to write a blog post to refute all the crazy rumours. [You can read the English translation here, but scroll down]

It's obvious that she caught attention, because she's beautiful. And I'm sure that the one who initially went crazy were men. That's just how it is and always was: Men go crazy when they spot a beautiful woman. She was just at the wrong place at the wrong time.

Zi Fei, I wish you good luck and hope you can get something good out of this after being defamed by so many Chinese netizens. A model career? We shall see. 加油, 紫菲!

[Photos: Source 1, Source 2][Zi Fei's Blog (chi)]
[Tiny.link to this post: http://tinyurl.com/MKLsWangZiFei]

Thank you for blogging award 2009

Today I received a blog award from the incredible Andhari. Yay! Thank you so much, my lovely friend, I feel honored and appreciated :D Now the rule says, I should tag 4 people and write at least 3 reasons why I pass the award to them. Well, it's always hard to pick someone and then someone else may be wondering why I haven't picked them. Tsk, tsk, tsk (as Mel would say). So I chose to pass this award to two of my favorite bloggers who I met most recently: They are just funny and adorable. I decided not to mention their names, cause that wouldn't be fun, would it? :P You can try and guess who they are by the words and pics below. :)

No 1: I think she deserves this award, because she's very funny, be it her blog posts or her comments, she always cracks me up. She's positive and supportive and she's so likeable. Who wouldn't wanna be her friend? Maybe a chocolate bunny, but only because she'd eat it :P Well, her blog is very cute and there's so much more about it than just chocolate and lolcatz. :P I'm so happy, that I came across her blog. If you wanna check it out, click on the photo below.


No 2: I think she deserves this award, because she's true and honest and her followers feel that, so it's no wonder that she has soooo many of them. And she's also very funny, especially when she catches spammers. :D She says she doesn't want to accept blog awards yet, so I hope she takes this little post as a token of my appreciation and my way to give her back some happiness she brings to me :) If you wanna check out her blog, click on the photo below.


Have you guessed right, before you checked, who the two bloggers are? ^_^

[Photo 1 Source: 1, 2][Photo 2 Source: 1, 2]

The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows

Life ain't all sunshine and rainbows. There's plenty of storms during our journey and a lot of times things don't go the way we want them to go. It's true, that many times we just perceive things as bad, but they aren't really bad: The problems are created in our heads. Those are the easiest to solve, as we usually just need someone to open our eyes and realize how wrong we were. But there are real problems that all of us face at certain points in our lives: Tragedies like deaths, disease, break-ups, accidents, abuses... We can't just brush off these things as if they were merely created in our heads. No, these are times of trial and we have no choice: We have to deal with these issues. And no matter what - we have to be strong. We have to keep going. Never give up! We get wounded and we need time to make these wounds heal. But they will heal. We just need to believe in ourselves. There will be scars, but the wounds won't be open anymore. At one point our last tear of sadness will dry and the first tear of joy will pour down our cheek and we will smile again. Please don't forget that there's light at the end of the tunnel. I always think: If you're hurt and you wanna cry - cry! If you need to talk - talk! Just let it out. And if in the past you were there for those who needed you, they will be there for you now, when you need them.

This year was a year of change for me: I had death in the family, a break up and friendships that faded. It was a confusing time full of highs and lows, I was lost during most of this year. I saw everything as negative, mostly because I wanted to. But now this time is certainly over. I'm positive, hopeful and a changed man. It was some 4 months ago, during my emo phase, when I wrote a post about my misfortune this year. It was bad back then, yes, but now it doesn't matter anymore. I'm back on track. I have my scars, but they don't matter now. I'm just looking ahead to the future: I'm focusing on my hopes, dreams and aspirations. I'm most positive that they will come true. I will write more about my own pursuit of happiness in the weeks and months to come. But let's close this post with Rocky Balboa (played by Sylvester Stallone) and his quote from the film in 2006, that inspired my post:

[...] The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. [...]

How true, right? Do you have scars and how do you deal with hardships?

*I just wrote this post to all people who struggle currently. Never give up!

[Photo: Source][quote from Rocky]

Thoughts of the moment

Thought one: Why do so many new followers of my blog think I was female? Maybe because I follow mostly women and get along well with women, adore women, post many pics of women, write about women, chat on MSN with many women... Maybe :P

Thought two: Why do some people write whole essays with links and quotes, when they comment, just to state their opinion prove they're right? I think it's no point to that, unless we're talking about facts, not opinions. But some people are obsessed and don't stop, even ridicule you, just to feel superior. Oh dear, do you know how I can laugh about people like you? :P

Thought three: Is it possible, that a friend, to whom I've slowly distanced myself this year would make up a fake break up just to lure me to call him and meet him? I was a long and loyal friend until half a year ago, where he behaved like he's my father and lectured me. From that time on I ignored him. And now few days ago, his girlfriend texted me and begged me to call him, cuz they supposedly broke up and he's devastated and in need of a friend. I asked her to write an email and tell me what exactly happened. Few days later: Nothing. [Weird.] Something smells fishy. :(

Thought four: How come anticipating a birthday is such a thrill, but after you say happy birthday at the actual day, the whole thrill is gone? So many people close to me had birthdays and it was really a very interesting time. But now that it's passed, I feel so empty. I guess it's same when people, who celebrate Christmas (I'm not), anticipate that day. But a day after boredom sinks in and the chocolate Santa doesn't taste as good as a day before. Weird. -_-

Thought five: Is it possible to adore someone and be totally crazy about them, yet still have reasonable expectations? Well, I think it's possible, but it's a fine line to walk. In the past, I would adore someone for the wrong reasons. Now, around age 30, I feel I know what I really want: I realized that I really need someone who's character suits me well, who shares similar views, dreams and expectations for the future and who's mellow, easygoing and flexible like me. I had complicated, I had inflexible, I had partners with too different views, dreams and expectations... They were all incredible women, but we were just too different. Now it seems I found someone who suits me well and the question I asked 6 month ago here may be finally answered. And yes, I adore her for who she is, not what I think she might be. :)

Please choose one or more topics and leave a comment. As always I really appreciate your opinions and I'm very happy to see you always return to my little online getaway. Thank you!